anywhere but nowhere please

Now that the Beijing Summer Games are almost here, I should be at my happiest, but I’m actually pretty miserable in my work. I’ve lost my passion for this job. Now that the Games’ training has ended and I’ve returned to corporate training, I “train” adults who have reservations and objections to learning English and repeatedly express this in class. Some seem to make more than a novel effort–by my suspicion is that effort is fueled by the coercion of the students’ superiors, not a desire to learn something new.
There is such low morale and motivation, even with my most entertaining and motivating activities. I know it’s not just the students. It just isn’t working for me anymore. The worst part is that I don’t make the charismatic effort to entertain and charm my students to learn. My desperate words fall on dead ears and tired eyes. No one laughs with me anymore. I’m just the foreign guy who has direct communication with the powerful HR department, so the students obediently tolerate the “training” and me. It’s patient tolerance, not active learning.

I would prefer to “train” students who want to learn. I hope that’s not an unreasonable request. I would prefer to reach people–young or old–who are desperate to learn any part of anything I know. There are plenty of people in this world who are in desperate need of someone who cares enough to care about them. At heart, I remain one of those people who wish to answer this need. I need to answer that need. Surprise, surprise, I want to do more than make very little money (by US standards) and feel unnecessary.
The Beijing Games training was a passionate effort. Now that training is over and so is the passion. Gone is the shared enthusiasm and belief that learning was actually an integral part of this bigger-than-you idea of international cooperation through peaceful sport. During the Beijing Games training, we were all a bumbling part of one of the most important moments in China’s amazing history. Now I’m an entry-level guy who “trains” people who actively refuse to learn. I could easily find and retain this lack of purpose in the USA, for more money.
The logical question: why am I here? Well, I have some tickets to a few of the events. That’s something.