torn between 2 lovers

Where this is smoke, there is fire, and what may seem friendly and innocent may actually be the most toxic pleasure. I have 2 loves for this blog. The first is to teach. Teach Americans about life in China, and give the Chinese something English to read. The second is to express myself as an artist, for I am indeed an artist at heart and shall probably remain that way until I am plant food. If not happily so, then contented, and the happiness has never been as important to me as the ability and opportunity to express myself honestly. If I am happy, sad, angry, bitter, then I am happy, sad, angry, bitter and not necessarily in that order.
It sometimes gives me great pleasure and is often my saving grace to have both the ability and opportunity to display and experiment with my humanity. Without my imagination and creative energy I would curl up and die. But I am also a teacher, and teaching beats doing. So it may be to the reader’s displeasure that I have made a commitment to playing the field, but I am indeed this man who I am and I shall forever be content with that.
For you to understand completely may not be necessary, but for you to appreciate may be interesting or maybe even a little fun.